Dear ______

Dear ____, writing this letter makes me think of the only two other letters I have ever sent you. I'm sure you haven't forgotten them. The first was in about fifth or sixth grade. You were in jail. You stole a car. Again. I wrote you because I was angry. I was so hurt and so confused about how you could continue to do these things. When I talked to you after you got that letter, you told me how proud you were. How you showed all the people around you it and said “My baby sister wrote this!” and went on about how grown up I sounded. Could you have further missed the point?

The other letter I sent you was more recent. Around the beginning of the eighth grade. I wrote to you, practically begging for you to stop lying to me. It got to be so much. Just as with the first letter, I was looking for change. I needed things to be different. All I ever continued to get however, was more broken promises. You will not change for anyone. Not me, not your own mother, not even your son. And that is my point of this letter. Still, nothing has changed. Can you not see how this is affecting your family? That everyone has given up on you? Everyone but me. I still wish and hope that some miracle will happen, and things will change. That one day you will realize you are throwing your life away. For what? Drugs? Alcohol? What have they done for you so far? All they have done is make people who care about you give up and take your little boy away from you. He's six now and he doesn't even know who you are. How can you live with that everyday knowing your chose your own selfish ways over him?

I haven't given up. But it is so hard. It is hard to have empty faith in you when all I get in return are unfufilled promises. You promised to visit me, and that you would be there. You promised me that you weren't into drugs anymore. Well I guess I got my hopes up again. Since you are on the run now, for what? Drugs and driving without a liscense. Will this ever end? ___ , I love you, but I can't watch my brother fall apart. It doesn't have to be this way. Love ___

PLEASE READ THIS-> A Note about this piece: This was a Monologue assignment I had to write for a senior drama class assignment. The assignment was "A Monologue of Me", and we were required to write about some experience, memory or something else along those lines. I chose this topic, as it is a major part of my life. This is entirely true. The part which is italicized is the part in which I am writing the letter I mention in the introduction paragraph. I have left the names blank, including my own for privacy reasons. I may not mind sharing this, but keeping the names out of it is necessary for my own sake of mind. I'm not sure why I am explaining this, but I felt I should.

Copyright 2008 skeptik

What am I going to do? I can’t just sit here, not knowing what is going on. I need to say something to him. Yell at him, scream at him!...But I wont. I know that. I always back down when I try. I need to...I need to... write him a letter! It isn’t as good as in person, or even on the phone, but who knows when I will have a chance for that again. I will write him a letter. But where to start....